f-romanoff-13:

agentdarcy:

friendly reminder that there’s a cut scene in Thor that while the Destroyer is blowing shit up, Darcy runs into the pet store to save all the animals and give them to people leaving the town

as things are being set on fire around her, she talks to the dog, telling him I  won’t let the big scary monster step on you,  and names it Baker

image

Why was this cut? I need that scene in the film!

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

threesomewithphan:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

sleeplessnnights:

coolestbloginamerica:

I put my fish in time out because he kept trying to eat my other fish.  I hope that little fucker learned his lesson

hE looks sO sAD

probably because he can’t fucking breathe because you put him in a seale container that’s like 200 sizes too small for him

FISHES BREATHE WATER 

fish breathe oxygen in the water and there’s no source of oxygen for the water because it’s a closed bag.
humans breathe air but if i stuff you in a big ole ziplock bag and seal it like that it’ll be a short fuckin time before you suffocate i guarantee it.

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

threesomewithphan:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

sleeplessnnights:

coolestbloginamerica:

I put my fish in time out because he kept trying to eat my other fish.
I hope that little fucker learned his lesson

hE looks sO sAD

probably because he can’t fucking breathe because you put him in a seale container that’s like 200 sizes too small for him

FISHES BREATHE WATER 

fish breathe oxygen in the water and there’s no source of oxygen for the water because it’s a closed bag.

humans breathe air but if i stuff you in a big ole ziplock bag and seal it like that it’ll be a short fuckin time before you suffocate i guarantee it.

Before rain: normal human being wearing eyeliner

After rain: Bucky Barnes as the Winter Soldier

thescarymonstersundermybed:

whovians-and-sherlockians:

readalfa:

The greatest scene in all animated movie history.

I may or may not recite this when I’m looking for things.

I wonder how long people have been waiting for these gifs

probably just as long as they’ve been waiting for Incredibles 2 

beautifulbroodingandbroke:

"Rape accusations ruin people’s lives!"

You know what else ruins people’s lives?

B e i n g r a p e d

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?

Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

Dad: Fuck the government.

Dad: Fuck the school board.

Dad: Close the door.

Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

Dad: I love puns.

Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

Dad: Please shut up.

Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

Dad: They act like I care what they think.

Dad: I hate homework.

Dad: I have decided to become a politician.

Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

dansnipplehair:

orlandobloomers:

why is this dude wasting his fucking money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your fucking metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job 

(Source: prettylittletmi)

lumos221b:

assbuttspiesandangels:

So I was talking to my Dad and he said that Will Smith from Doctor Who was on tv…

image

Yes dad. Will Smith of Doctor who.

Omfg

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

disneydelirium:

flippercc:

*rewind**laughing like an idiot*

#DONTGETTHATCLOSETOELSABITCH

It looks like Anna’s saying, “Whoa, wha- no don’t do that-“

andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:

disneydelirium:

flippercc:

*rewind*
*laughing like an idiot*

#DONTGETTHATCLOSETOELSABITCH

It looks like Anna’s saying, “Whoa, wha- no don’t do that-“

hitthejackelswitch:

abbygubler:

ohrobbybaby:

The Sound of Music (1965)

tumblr fucked me up so bad i kept expecting something ridiculous to happen at the end like a still of her telling the kids to go fuck themselves smh

^ME TOO